Leadership pt. 3 What Not to Do That I Did
Do You Have This Fatal Flaw of Leadership
Man Doing Balancing on Tightrope
One fatal flaw in leaders that will sabotage their leadership influence and kill their efforts, ultimately causing their organization to implode, is being an “INSECURE LEADER”. Unfortunately, I can again speak with great authority and experience on this subject. Although I have always exuded a confident boldness, which gives the illusion of “being secure”, without training or experience I fell into all of the typical actions and responses insecure leaders exude. Worst of all, because of my insecurity, I “needed” people to prop me up with compliments, approval, and value; along with people showing up for attendance at my meetings to support my efforts. (Now this was over 25 years ago.) Before I knew it, I was co-dependent on the very ones I was to serve, equip, motivate, support and lead. Ok, ok, so I was only a volunteer over Women’s Ministries, Director of Camps, Supervisor of Sunday School, Director of VBS, Mission Trips Leadership and ran a Summer Master’s Commission program, they were still leadership roles, and the beginning of my love/hate relationship with leadership! In fact, I could write a book about this topic alone, the INSECURITY of LEADERS. For your sake though, I’ll give you the signs and symptoms of an insecure leader, all of which determine the stage of leadership one is on, this one being the “Title Stage”. More than that, I would love to tell you just what I’ve done that has given me freedom from this deadly flaw. If you’d like to know more, please contact me for more information. It’s my absolute favorite topic, training, and a pre-requisite for completing my Executive Coach Training Course. But let me explain more about the “Title Stage”
Title Stage
(This person has no real influence or skill, just a leadership position) They may be a new leader or manager, or one who has had little or no training or understanding regarding the mission and scope of leadership.
At this stage of development they have been appointed and given a title. The titled leader often uses a military, autocratic style of leadership that worked for the traditional generation, and during a war. And yet, if this is the only basis for someone’s authority and influence then they:
- Tend to be dictatorial, autocratic, demanding and controlling in their style
- Most of their actions and reactions are due to being insecure.
- When problems arise they are quick to blame shift without finding out all the facts, for fear that blame for the problem may be placed on them.
- Will make assumptions, again without the facts.
- Are defensive.
- Can’t take responsibility and have difficulty apologizing.
- Get their identity and security from the “title” and being “in charge”.
- Tend to lead by rules, protocol, flow charts and tradition.
- May have been appointed to a position regardless of their skills, talents or leadership influence.
- Expect people to “just do it” because, well “I said so”.
- Will have low moral throughout the organization.
- Will discover that people won’t engage and participate beyond their stated job description. They aren’t motivated by their work, and will only do the bare minimum.
- Use intimidation, threats and manipulation to direct people.
- Want everything to revolve around them, and what they want and need.
- Have people that feel disrespected, unimportant and frustrated.
- Have people who are not empowered to take charge themselves, and receive no rewards for any extra initiative. Instead they may intimidate the one trying to lead.
- Don’t allow their people to question anything, or ask the deeper questions to discover the real problems, issues, or hindrances of the organization.
- Believe that if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. This results in unmotivated people who are discouraged.
- Micromanage due to their lack of trust.
“We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.“ Max DePree
YOUR COACHING ASSIGNMENT:
Take this list above and put a 1, 2, or 3 next to the sentences, 1 meaning least like and 3 meaning most like, and evaluate where you are today. Want to really “GET REAL“, make copies of it, and have those closest to you rate the sentences about you! Then be alert to the next posting, I’ll talk about what you need to do to go to the next level OF “LEADERSHIP INFLUENCE”.
STILL WANT TRANSFORMATION: Contact me to learn about my fall coaching programs AccidentalLeader@comast.net to acquire the accountability to become the person you know you can be!
Leadership pt. 2 What Not to Do, That I Did!
Getting Over Yourself
When Ron, my husband and I, were given charge of a small non-profit organization, we had received zero leadership training. It wasn’t the CEO of our parent company’s fault. He will admit to you himself that he hadn’t received any training in leadership either.
At that time I was an ambitious, energetic, know-it-all 23 year old who was an unteachable, unbroken “High D”. Of course, I didn’t realize this until many years later, too late for those caught in the wake of our leadership inexperience.
My expectations back then reveal it all. I thought that by moving to this new city and obtaining this position, we would be enthusiastically welcomed, asked to dinner, and readily given support and help to run the organization. I thought we would be treated, well, like the leaders we had worked under were treated. My gap in knowledge was that they had earned this right to influence. So began:
Lesson 1: Leadership Trust, Influence and Admiration Must be EARNED, it does NOT come by way of obtaining the esteemed TITLE, “leader”
In fact, until people find:
- That you are authentic – the way you act is the way you genuinely are
- Your actions match your words
- They can trust you with their talent, intellect and education, that you don’t mislead them, or use them solely for your own purposes or projects
- Your intentions are to benefit them by assisting them in reaching their mission, and grow their resume while you grow your project or organization
- You’re fair in all your dealings. You don’t have favorites, or allow clicks, and you don’t hibernate in an ivory tower
- You use equitable judgment in pay and benefits
- You care about them, and their needs, as much as you do about your project and vision
You won’t have the influence necessary to build collaboration. They won’t trust, esteem, or support your leadership efforts, and if they do, it won’t be long term. Without developing the above, they won’t freely give you their time or effort beyond their stated job description.
Your Coaching Corner: Assess your ideas and views of what “being” a leader means to you. Honestly assess yourself to ascertain if you have the right motives. See if you pass the bullet point test above. If you don’t, as I didn’t, remember, leadership CAN BE LEARNED!
In the next post I’ll go over the characteristics of the first level of leadership, The “Title Stage,” the characteristics of this initial stage of leadership, and what you need to do to grow beyond it to advance to level 2.
How Are You Doing as a LEADER? pt. 1
What is Leadership, and how do you distinguish 
Leadership from Management?
In the October 2006 Issue of the U.S. News and World Report did a special report titled, Truly Authentic Leadership. In the report they stated that one of the biggest problems wasn’t the lack of leadership but the understanding of the notion of what exactly a leader is, thus resulting in the wrong people attaining critical leadership roles. They went on to explain that because of this, search committees and voters alike fell into the trap of choosing leaders for their
STYLE rather than their
SUBSTANCE.
For their IMAGE instead of their
INTEGRITY.
Sound familiar? They went on to proclaim that the only valid test of a leader is his or her ability to bring people together to achieve sustainable results over time. Here’s the true value of your leadership, and how you can accurately rate yourself! And this kind of leadership takes DEVELOPMENT and HARD WORK. The kind that comes from working with an executive coach.
According to the annual poll on leadership taken a few years ago and conducted for U.S. News and Harvard University’s Center for Public Leadership , they found that,
56% of Americans say they’re not proud of the country’s leaders.
2/3rds say the country is in a leadership crisis.
3/4’s say the nation will decline without better leadership.
HAS ANYTHING CHANGED? WHY NOT?
DISILLUSIONMENT and a DEEP SEATED SKEPTICISM, a DISTRUST of leaders- whether it’s the boardroom chief, university head, or media watchdog. Here it is now 2010, with the economy, extreme lack of employment, and the gulf oil spill, has much changed?
** The majority of Americans say corporate leaders are more concerned with the bottom line than with running their companies well. Sound like BP? Bottom line:
We are in a LEADERSHIP CRISIS!
- To know how to do a job is the responsibility of LABOR
- Giving instruction is the job of a TEACHER
- Being SURE the work gets done is the job of MANAGEMENT
- Providing vision for the future, direction, and inspiring motivation, and creating a cohesive team is the job of LEADERSHIP
A leader is not content with the status quo.They continually look for a better way, innovative way, greater challenge. Are you doing this?
“Most people want to change their circumstances in order to change their lives
instead of changing themselves to improve their circumstances.”
Join me next week for Part II where I will begin a series on the 5 Levels of Leadership and what it takes to move through each level.
(many of the quotes in this article were taken from notes I made years ago and the authors are unknown. If you happen to have this information, please let us know.)
10 Ways to Know When It’s Time to Fire a Client!
No self-respecting, professional business owner would allow themselves to be abused, continually attacked, or treated like slave labor. But when do you know it’s time to let a 
challenging, inconsiderate, or downright nightmare client go? And how do you, as a leader, keep your professionalism without stooping to similar antics and child like behavior? First, you have to know it’s time; you’re past any kind of conflict resolution, this is it, no more. Here are over 10 ways you will know, they’ve got to go:
- You can’t ever do anything right, no matter how hard you try.
- Regardless of how much customer service you deliver, it’s never enough.
- They quit paying you, try to skip payments, and expect you to look the other way.
- You feel like they are always trying to take “control” and keep you under thumb.
- They complain about how much you cost.
- When you have an agreement, they break it, or don’t follow through on their end.
- They aren’t “teachable” and resist making any effort to learn new things.
- They aren’t “willing” to try the suggestions you make, or follow through on the plans you have collaboratively created.
- They make excuses for everything, and won’t own the responsibility for the issues and problems in their business.
- You’re working harder on their business than they are, and feel like you have to drag them to the table.
When it’s time to move on, be professional. Don’t get into wrangling with words, in person or by e-mail. Don’t blame, or even try to explain your position. If they’ve done any or all of the above, they can’t hear it anyway. Why waste your time? Move on with dignity and grace knowing you’ve sufficiently done everything you professionally could do to be of help and service. Now what if you’re an executive, or manager within a company, how could this list serve you? What changes need to be made to this list when dealing with employees? See future articles that will address these issues.
The Worst Sports Call of all Time Was Made by Jim Joyce as the World Watched the Reruns Over and Over Again
How would you like that to be your legacy? It was the perfect game, but the young pitcher was robbed of the rare and esteemed title of “perfect game”. Had the call been made the way it should have, Armando Galarraga would have been the 21st pitcher to have thrown a perfect game. What remains of this story is a tale of two men who handled sportsmanship honorably.
Let me ask you, have you ever made a really bad, I mean a really bad mistake? I have, and it not only cost me a considerably large job, but possibly a friendship. Like Jim Joyce, at first I began to justify my poor judgment, explaining why I had done what I had done. But when the impact of what my actions cost this person hit me, I was devastated. I saw the terrible position I put this person in, and like Jim Joyce, it was then that I took full responsibility, apologized, and then broke down in tears. Thank God, for me, it wasn’t in front of the whole world. OK, so maybe you don’t cry, but Joyce sure did. Executives and leaders make bad calls all the time. Unfortunately, in the beginning, it’s how they learn what not to do. Then those who are authentic executives learn from their leadership mistakes and failure. The problem occurs when we don’t, and I’ve seen way too much of that as well. Not owning up to or taking responsibility for your mistakes destroys companies, and careers. So, how do you know if that’s you? Ask those around you if you:
- Make excuses
- Blame Shift
- Turn it around and make others wrong
People who aren’t willing to own their own bad calls will continue to encounter the same issues and problems over and over again. But when you take responsibility, you have an opportunity to learn and grow, and hopefully never make the poor judgment call ever again.
Finally, I want to commend Galarraga, who showed the upmost poise and composure, when a history title was unjustly torn away from him. And Jim Joyce, I believe you showed the world, especially our children, true courage and maturity by taking ownership, apologizing, and showing genuine remorse, as seen in your personal apology to Galarraga: “ I’m sorry, I am so sorry, I make a mistake, I feel really bad for you. I don’t know what to say.” and for that I commend you! (quote taken from The New York Times http://bats.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/03/galarragas-thoughts-the-morning-after/)
The Secret To Knowing What Authentic Leadership Is?
In the Oct. 2006 issue of U.S. News and World Report , they did a report titled, “Truly Authentic Leadership“. In the report they stated that one of the biggest problem wasn’t the lack of leadership, but the understanding of the notion of what exactly a leader is, thus resulting in the wrong people attaining critical leadership roles. They went on to explain that because of this, search committees and voters alike fell into the trap of choosing leaders for their:
STYLE rather than their
SUBSTANCE.
For their IMAGE instead of their
INTEGRITY.
They went on to proclaim that the only valid test of a leader is his or her ability to bring people together to achieve sustainable results over time; that leadership takes DEVELOPMENT and HARD WORK. I wholeheartedly agree!
Your Coaching Reflection and Action Step: So my question to you today is: What are you doing that is developing your leadership skills? What books are you reading; what seminars are you going to; who is mentoring you? Along with that, what coach have you hired to hold you accountable to do what you need to do, to become the leader you know you can be? Don’t wait, do it today. You’ll be glad you did.
Stay tuned, in the next few posts I’ll be announcing some exciting opportunities for you to do just this, take advantage of a powerful new coaching program!
Peak Performing Employees Have Great Managers
Who Take Responsibility For What Is, And What Is Not Working!
Once you have discerned what’s not working, what you do about it says what kind of leader/manager you are. If you have discovered your employee is not doing an adequate job of their position you could:
- First and foremost find out “WHY” they aren’t performing up to par. Unless you know the why, you can’t fit the right solution to the cause.
- Be sure they understand their job description, what is, and isn’t expected of them. Obviously this means you have a well thought out, thorough “Job Description”.
- Be sure there are standards of operation in place, which they are aware of, along with ways to monitor their progress, or lack thereof.
- Institute specific employee motivators. See the book: “Love Em or Leave Em” and “1,001 Ways to Reward Employees“.
- Be sure their “Behavioral Style” fits their role. Contact us to provide you with a current DISC profile. You can also profile the role with a “Roles Analysis” to be sure the person fits this element of the job description.
- Provide or send them for more specific training to fill their current gaps in knowledge or training.
- Or, provide an internal or external coach to assist them in creating an appropriate development plan. This will also give extra accountability to the employee to make the needed changes.
- Move them into a department that fits their skill sets, behavioral style, education and passion.
- Allow them a certain period of time to upgrade their skills, take a college courses, or become certified.
- Be sure there isn’t conflict with their manager. More people leave a company because of their direct manager than any other reason!
If none of this works, their skills and or attitude don’t change, find someone who will. Move on, and remember this: “Some will, some won’t, so what, next!” There are certain things you can’t provide, and one of them is the motivation to change. If you’ve given them an atmosphere conducive to growth, believe that they can do better, support and encouragement to change, with motivators and de-motivators along with the proper training, you’ve done everything you can. Find someone who will appreciate the support and training you provide.
Remember, if you want peak performing employees? You can by following the system above.
THREE STEPS TO LEADERSHIP TRANSFORMATION & NEW HABITS
ONE: WE DON’T KNOW WHAT WE DON’T KNOW!
You may have been a business owner for years, but just never understood that what and how you’re doing things is actually hurting your business, possibly even sabotaging it, rather than assisting it. All this affects your bottom-line. If you didn’t know how to ask the right questions of yourself and your business processes, you may not realize you’re incorrectly relating to your customers/clients. This would then result in not providing for their needs, therefore loosing them as customers. Or, you may have poor people skills, that have become habits, and you don’t even realize it is the reason for constant staff turn-over. What you thought was normal for all businesses, because it’s normal for you, is hindering your business growth! How do I know? Because I have been there myself. I too have experienced problems in business, asked the wrong questions, and therefore came to incorrect conclusions. And because I didn’t ask the right questions, I couldn’t address the “REAL” problem. Why, because I didn’t know it existed. So how do you change this? Most of us need an outside view. Someone that doesn’t have an ego attached to the business. They can provide you with a “Needs Analysis“, something I’ve spoken of in past posts on this blog. After you discover, through the Needs Analysis, what is needed, then you can strategically create a plan to “CHANGE” those things that are sinking you. Now remember, it takes 30 days to change or form a new habit.
TWO: STEPS TO CHANGE A HABIT:
1. Take responsibility for the way you are, and the way your business is.
2. You must link PAIN to the behavior you want to change.
3. Link PLEASURE to the new behavior.
4. Repeat this over and over to condition your mind, your feelings, and your actions.
A. You must believe that, as a leader, change begins with you, and that it is necessary. You have to come to the place where it is more painful staying like you are, than it is to change. If not, you won’t change.
B. Believe that no one else can do it for you, and no one else is to blame for it. Take responsibility. Rise to the occasion and trust yourself that you CAN and WILL change.
THREE: Picture yourself five years from now still perpetuating whatever habit you need to change. If you don’t change:
• What does your life look like?
• How does it feel?
• Who will this habit affect other than yourself?
• What will it keep you from doing or becoming?
• Are there any physical or mental consequences as a result of this habit?
Meditate on this until you have strong emotions attached to this picture. Once this habit is seen and felt as being deplorable, and you have engendered strong negative emotions to it, make the decision that NOW is the time to change. Refuse to allow yourself to be dictated by this habit any longer.
Next do the same exercise, but picture what life would be like being free from this habit. See yourself reaching your goals, feeling confident and in control, not ruled by this habit. Feel the positive emotions. Experience the sense of success, the admiration of others.
He Was a Burned Out Business Owner - Are You?
Yesterday John said “Our working together these past 3 months has saved my business, and my career. He’d owned this company 27yrs, and done very well financially, although I soon discovered he’d never been given the business tools from his corporate office to run a successful franchise. On top of that, he didn’t realize it, but he was burned out. He had:
- No business systems in place to run his business on
- Employee turn-over taking place every few years
- Poor office morale
and
- He had never learned how to lead a team of people effectively
If you had asked him 5 months ago if he needed help, he probably would have said emphatically, “NO”. He had no idea how it could be, so what he was experiencing day to day was normal for him.
Does this sound like anyone you know? If you do, let them know I am offering a free one hour phone coaching session, without any obligation to ever utilize my services in the future. Sign-up at this link: https://my.timedriver.com/RFL62
Now, why would I do this? Well, first of all I was honored and inspired by the progress of this client , and two, it’s worth it to me because:
- They’ll have tasted the benefits of being coached, and can now refer me with a personal working knowledge.
- I truly believe that when I give, it will come back to me - maybe not from the same source, but it comes back all the same, pressed down, shaken together, and running over!
. . .To know even one life has breathed easier
because you lived.
This is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
What’s Under the Covers of Your Business pt. II
Find out what your staff, spouse, and closest friends are seeing about your business that is, and is not working. Trust me, they’ll know more about running a business than you can ever imagine. Now there are a couple of ways of going under the covers to discover what’s there. You can do one-on-one interviews. This is what I conduct in larger organizations, and works well when you have the funds to bring someone in. In mid. to small businesses, surveys work . Call it: “What This Business Needs” Analysis. Now, if they know you can detect whose writing is whose, here’s a suggestion: Give them a completion date to turn it in by. Then, provide a self addressed, stamped envelope to be mailed to a person who will type up the answers. If your company is large enough, have them turn the completed analysis in to your administrative assistant. Again remember:
-
Don’t take it personally!
-
Don’t make excuses to yourself or others as to why things are the way they are.
-
No blame-shifting, take full responsibility for the results. You’re the leader.
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Don’t let it defeat you, it is what it is. After you’ve taken stock, it’s may be time to rebuild/re-launch a new standard of operating, according to what you’ve found.
Here are some questions you can use for your questionnaire:
1. What do you see isn’t working around here?
2. If you could change anything, what would it be?
3. Why aren’t we growing?
4. Why don’t we have more clients/customers, or sales?
5. What can we change, or do, to make your job easier for you to give your best?
6. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most and 1 the least:
a. How happy are you in your position?
b. I have received adequate training to be successful
c. I have been provided all the equipment and supplies to do my job well.
d.Toxic conversation is discouraged in my area
e. I have respect for my direct manager?
f. I understand the Mission, Vision, and Values of my company
g. We as employees strive to live by our Mission, Vision, and Values?
h. I feel my work is appreciated
i. I have incentives to continue to do a better job?
j. I am provided continuing education to enhance my work and skill-set
k.The culture of the office is healthy
Remember, this is just a start. If you’d like more information on when this product is launched, let me know. I’m sure I’ll be running some great specials to test it, as well as to promote it. Here’s to your business success not being by ACCIDENT!
