Leadership pt. 3 What Not to Do That I Did

Do You Have This Fatal Flaw of Leadership

One fatal flaw in leaders that will sabotage their leadership influence and kill their efforts, ultimately causing their organization to implode, is being an “INSECURE LEADER”. Unfortunately, I can again speak with great authority and experience on this subject. Although I have always exuded a confident boldness, which gives the illusion of “being secure”, without training or experience I fell into all of the typical actions and responses insecure leaders exude. Worst of all, because of my insecurity, I “needed” people to prop me up with compliments, approval, and value; along with people showing up for attendance at my meetings to support my efforts. (Now this was over 25 years ago.)  Before I knew it, I was co-dependent on the very ones I was to serve, equip, motivate, support and lead. Ok, ok, so I was only a volunteer over Women’s Ministries, Director of Camps, Supervisor of Sunday School, Director of VBS, Mission Trips Leadership and ran a Summer Master’s Commission program, they were still leadership roles, and the beginning of my love/hate relationship with leadership! In fact, I could write a book about this topic alone, the INSECURITY of LEADERS. For your sake though, I’ll give you the signs and symptoms of an insecure leader, all of which determine the stage of leadership one is on, this one being the “Title Stage”. More than that, I would love to tell you just what I’ve done that has given me freedom from this deadly flaw. If you’d like to know more, please contact me for more information. It’s my absolute favorite topic, training, and a pre-requisite for completing my Executive Coach Training Course. But let me explain more about the “Title Stage”

Title Stage

(This person has no real influence or skill, just a leadership position) They may be a new leader or manager, or one who has had little or no training or understanding regarding the mission and scope of leadership.

At this stage of development they have been appointed and given a title. The titled leader often uses a military, autocratic style of leadership that worked for the traditional generation, and during a war. And yet, if this is the only basis for someone’s authority and influence then they:

• Tend to be dictatorial, autocratic, demanding and controlling in their style

• Most of their actions and reactions are due to being insecure.

• When problems arise they are quick to blame shift without finding out all the facts, for fear that blame for the problem may be placed on them.

• Will make assumptions, again without the facts.

• Are defensive.

• Can’t take responsibility and have difficulty apologizing.

• Get their identity and security from the “title” and being “in charge”.

• Tend to lead by rules, protocol, flow charts and tradition.

• May have been appointed to a position regardless of their skills, talents or leadership influence.

• Expect people to “just do it” because, well “I said so”.

• Will have low moral throughout the organization.

• Will discover that people won’t engage and participate beyond their stated job description. They aren’t motivated by their work, and will only do the bare minimum.

• Use intimidation, threats and manipulation to direct people.

• Want everything to revolve around them, and what they want and need.

• Have people that feel disrespected, unimportant and frustrated.

• Have people who are not empowered to take charge themselves, and receive no rewards for any extra initiative. Instead they may intimidate the one trying to lead.

• Don’t allow their people to question anything, or ask the deeper questions to discover the real problems, issues, or hindrances of the organization.

• Believe that if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. This results in unmotivated people who are discouraged.

• Micromanage due to their lack of trust.

“We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.“  Max DePree

YOUR COACHING ASSIGNMENT:

Take this list above and put a 1, 2, or 3 next to the sentences, 1 meaning least like and 3 meaning most like, and evaluate where you are today.  Want to really “GET REAL“, make copies of it, and have those closest to you rate the sentences about you!  Then be alert to the next posting, I’ll talk about what you need to do to go to the next level OF “LEADERSHIP INFLUENCE”.

STILL WANT TRANSFORMATION: Contact me to learn about my fall coaching programs AccidentalLeader@comast.net to acquire the accountability to become the person you know you can be!

Leaders Can Be Masters of Casting Vision-Especially When They Do It Through A Story

Leadership means casting vision.  It is creating a vivid picture of a possible future that is exciting to be a part of.  It is eliciting belief in your staff that creates a confidence in you, the leader, that you know where they are going, and can, with their help, take them there.  Whether you’re solving a problem, or creating a new reality, it’s making the world a better place because of the piece you and your company plays in it.  So how do you get this across?   A lot of leaders/managers use power point, but could you get your points across better by weaving them into a compelling story?  Personally, I believe people remember stories more than they remember graphs and charts.  In this video you’ll see a gifted story teller, Robert McKee give an example of the benefit of using stories.  And you don’t have to be casting vision to do this.  It could be used for expressing everyday objectives in a fresh new way.

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You be the judge, and try it some time when you’re wanting to emphasize a key point that you need your staff to remember.  And just like any skill, it takes time to develop it until it is truly effective.  Don’t give up after one try, there is a learning curve!

LEADERS, QUIT SABOTAGING YOURSELF AND GET RID YOUR BLIND SPOTS NOW!

I was breaking out with acne like a teenager. For over a year and a half I caked on foundation on my face, trying to hide the ghastly blemishes. Finally, I thought I’d try a moisturizing cream that was on sale, and within a week I noticed I wasn’t breaking out, NOT ONE BIT. After a year and a half of misery, what had made the difference? I discovered that make-up with oil in it caused my face to erupt and look like the Grand Canyon landed on my face. With one small, simple change, I felt physically, and emotionally better. I’m convinced this dilemma would have been solved considerably sooner had I consulted a professional in cosmetology, and had a needs assessment done on my skin. These same fatal flaws happen to professionals in every field, especially those in the role of a leader. As a leader you can easily succumb to believing you’re more important than you actually are, or that you’re more successful than is true. Like my simple little issue, so easily detected by a cosmetologist, the right business consultant, or executive coach can bring a trained eye to detect the small changes needed that will make a world of difference in your personal and professional success. They will provide the needed microscopic, outsider view-in to assess what’s working, while detecting what’s not. The value to this process is that they are someone who isn’t jaded by office politics, without bias toward one person or another, and therefore can see clearly, without any blind spots, what leaders are easily blind to. Couple this needs assessment with a program of coaching to hold you accountable for the needed adjustments or changes, and I believe you can more than double your effectiveness in the future. My question to you is, if you are a business owner, why wait until things are out of control? Like a yearly physical is needed to catch health problems before they exacerbate, every business needs to probe for their weaknesses and blind spots so they aren’t blindsided in the future. Let me ask you, do you feel like something is holding you back; that you or your company aren’t reaching their full potential; that you’ve hit a wall and don’t know what to do or where to go next?  If you’re silently any of this fits, and you genuinely see how a process like this could assist you in avoiding impending issues and problems, why wait? Build your leadership confidence to move forward in your business in 2010.  Contact me today and receive your free introductory leadership/company consultation to assess if you’re a good fit for us, and if we’re a good fit for you. If you’re not, we’ll refer you to someone who will meet your needs. Our strong affiliation with consultants and coaches throughout the country is why we can assure you the best, most appropriate person and service to meet your needs. Just contact us at: dynamicdev@comcast.net today, and we look forward to your continued success.

Every Leader is Faced With Overwhelming Challenges pt. II

I pay close attention to the hardships, challenges, failures and the struggles great leaders have weathered when I read their biographies.  One quality I’ve noticed that sets the acclaimed  ones apart is that they saw what others thought would be impossible, through the lens of possibility, and then proceeded to do something about it.  A true leader sees life as it could be, instead of as it is now.  Many weren’t prepared for the price they’d have to pay.  And for some, the price was too much, and no book was ever written.  For those emerging leaders who will triumph, the cost will be a small price to pay, in light of the end goal.  So today, this is for all those that didn’t quit, as well as for those trying not to. It’s for those that just kept going in spite of circumstances, one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time.  It is my hope you come away from reading this and say to yourself, “I can do it!” “They did, and so can I.”

• Henry Ford had to ignore the foremost inventor of all times, Thomas Edison, who thought it was veritably worthless to create a motor car.

• What if Thomas Edison had become discouraged, burned out, frustrated, demoralized on his 532nd, or his 729th of the 956 tries to make the light bulb?  What would our world be like at night today?

• He had a dream, rubber that would be unaffected by temperature.  After many years of failed experiments and financial ruin, he was imprisoned for debt.  He had problems with his family, was ridiculed by his friends, and was bitterly discouraged at times.  But in February of 1839 Charles discovered that he needed to add sulfur to his rubber to create the Goodyear Tire.

• Henry Ford went bankrupt in his first three years in the automobile business.

• They went to Atari and offered the invention they had created with some of their parts; they just needed funds and a paycheck and Atari could have it.  Atari said no, so did Hewlett-Packard.  So Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak did it themselves and created Apple - the personal computer.

• Discharged from being a junior naval officer due to cancer, which reoccurred four more times. Yet while being informed he only had two weeks to live, he never gave up on his dream to be an admiral.  He encountered a small problem after he was well enough to try again. The navy would not reinstate him due to their regulations.  But he learned all he needed was an “Act of Congress” to allow him back. Therefore, he went after it with the determination of a bulldog, nothing daunting him.  Irwin W. Rosenberg, who later became Rear Admiral of the Seventh Fleet, was reinstated by President Truman.  What would you have done?

• In the May 19th 2009 Blog called “Brainstorm” by Psychology Today, they describe “Donald Trump’s comeback as being one of the most dramatic of all time.”,  going on to describe the Donald when he was 1 billion dollars in debt, and then how he turned it around.  This modern day story (they say) “is one of the most dramatic of all time.”  Written by Jay Dixit, the Senior Editor, it exemplifies the challenges and need for courage, stamina, and downright tenacity in the world of business today.  Care for Donald Trump or not, it’s a story to take note of, while putting some fire in your belly.

I hope this will engender confidence and HOPE during this holiday season  - Sue

MONDAY MORSALS for Leaders - Become an Expert

I will never forget the day my friend inspired me, and set me on course for the rest of my life, by directing my passions and launching my destiny.  I was laid up after having ACL knee surgery when she called.  It was a normal conversation on the phone when she shared a new piece of knowledge she had just attained.  I know she had no idea the profound affect her sharing would be to me.  She said, “I learned You can be an expert in any area, if you read just 7 books on the subject.”  So I did just that, and considerably more.  I’ve now read close to 30 books on the subject of DISC Behavioral Styles, and what was a hobby, a fun way to assist and coach people to understand one another, is now the foundation of a thriving Coaching and Consulting practice.  But it was an inconspicuous start, with the goal being to read 7 books.  I still have a difficult time believing that it only take 7 books to be an expert, but they say the average person doesn’t even read 1 book a year, so according to that, 7 is an immense number.  Now, what’s the take away from this?

1. It’s never too late to get started learning something new, that could transform you future, and launch a new career or lifestyle.
2. What you did 5 years ago (even though this was 30 years ago for me) the books you read, the people you chose to be around, the decisions you made, and the actions you took resulted in who you are and what you do today.  Therefore, the books you read today, the people you chose to be around, the decisions you make, and actions you take WILL CREATE who you will be, and what you will do in 5 years!
3. What you say to your friends, colleagues, and employees could set direction for them for the rest of their lives!  Choose your words carefully.

So, what’s your passion?  What fascinates you?  Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but you haven’t received enough knowledge to feel secure enough to call yourself an expert? Then I say, begin with just one book.  Set that goal, get the book and read it today.  One step at a time, and before you know it, you’ll have read 7 books as well.

25 years ago, when Denise Mahoney  shared her new discovery with me, she had no idea that one day, because of that call, I would be coaching executives, including the top executives of a billion dollar public works engineering project, as well as launching a complete business of coaching and consulting.   Now, I have added certifications to this book reading, but it all started with a little boost in knowledge that gave me an increase in confidence.  And all because of a half hour conversation with a friend kind enough to call while I was recuperating.  Thanks Denise!!  Here’s to you girl.

How to Develop Leadership Skills by Guest Blogger, Noel Robinson

I’ve had the privilege to know Noel Robinson for the past ten years, and on occasion have had the opportunity to work with him.  He has continually increased his leadership skills and influence by implementing the steps he mentions below.  Because of his vast knowledge and experience, I wanted you to have the opportunity to learn from him.  Catch the progression, and know that you can also go to the next level in your leadership skills by mirroring him.

Noel: “Below are some thoughts I’d like to share from when I was asked what I did to become a leader. They are in no particular order.

Study people, especially other “leaders.” What did they do that worked and what didn’t work. Who did I respect and why? Whose influence did I and others follow and why?

Read lots… especially about sales and leadership.

Learned public speaking early and continued to master it. It’s like anything else, the more you practice it (do it) the better you get at it. If you fear it, so what. Do it anyway. Start off with small friendly groups and speak about topics that you really know and are passionate about.

Jump on every opportunity to lead and to be led, no matter how small. If your church needs a Sunday School teacher, that counts. What about running for your Homeowner’s Association Board? It may not sound like much fun, but you’ll get leadership experience! Call your favorite non-profit; they always need people for committees, and you may end up being the chairperson. What about your child’s school’s PTO/PTA?

Network, network, network! Take every opportunity to meet people. Listen to them and stay in touch with them. (Shameless plug: check out my website for a powerful tool to keep in touch and build relationships – www.SendOutCards.com/connect )

Don’t lie to yourself… and believe me, we all do it a LOT! You have to learn to step back with an objective eye and truly see what’s working and what isn’t. Tip: if no one’s following you, you aren’t a leader. And if your following isn’t growing, then neither are you growing as a leader. Check your results… if you don’t like them then you have to do something different.

Find qualified mentors and actually use them. Be totally honest with them, and then shut up and listen to their advice. Hopefully you can handle what they need to say, because if they think you can’t handle it, they probably won’t even tell you.

You’ll make some of your own mistakes. Sometimes you may unintentionally really hurt someone. If your truly a leader, it will hurt you even more knowing that you caused them pain. Of course you must own up to it AND do your best to make it right with them. But then you have to forgive yourself and continue your journey forward.

Ultimately, you have to believe and trust in yourself. This may be the hardest part.

The subtleties of real leadership vastly surpass my ability to write, but they are all centered in Service Above Self—the slogan for Rotary International.

Being a leader is hard… really hard, but if you’re truly cut out for it you’ll love it!

Lastly, when the time is right don’t forget to pay it forward; mentoring others is an excellent way to serve!”

As a Leader, Become the Person Other’s Want to Follow!

ACQUIRE THE FIRE WEDNESDAYS! Each Wednesday I’ll review a book or blog (I was out of commission this past Wed.)

“Be a People Person“, by Dr. John C. Maxwell, was by far one of the very most influential books I have ever read.  I recommend it with five stars to all new or emerging leaders or managers! This book began in me the extensive quest I have needed to take in becoming a woman who sees the trees through the forest.  Before reading this book I was full of vision, enthusiasm and drive, but seriously lacking in the keen ability to direct and delegate to people while keeping their needs, their skills, and their vision in mind.  I had no idea they wouldn’t just “Do It!” and get a job done, or why I had to take the time to understand why they had joined me as a leader, or what they were wanting to get out of their involvement.  At that time my husband and I ran a purely volunteer organization, so you can see the utter calamity and demise we were headed for.  Unfortunately, this is the stance many leaders take when leading an organization.  This book sets the stage for the very primary leadership skill/competency needed for great organizations, CARING!  Yes, I know, I’ve just lost some of you.  It’s hard, no, it’s down right earth shattering for some to realize that they and their vision are not at the center of most people’s interest.  It is true that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.  This book, for me, was a hard hit on the head, and my wake up call that there is more to leading than giving vision, and delegating responsibilities.  If you want the practical in’s and out’s of leading people, with step by step actions, this book is for you.  Some of the chapters include: understanding the qualities you enjoy in others, and why others are drawn to you; becoming a leader others want to follow; how to be confident as a leader; how to motivate people; be a person people respect; exactly how to be an encourager - what to say and do; how to hand criticism; dealing with difficult people; and creating a winning team.  If any of these are areas you need to work on, this book was meant for you!  One caution though, if you have an aversion to Biblical references, this book is not for you, as it is full of them.  For you, the Maxwell book, “Winning With People“, would be a better choice.  Again, go to the side of this page and you’ll see a list of books from Amazon for your ease of purchasing.  Hope this will be helpful.  Happy reading!!  Sue

How Have You Gained Confidence as a Leader?

I’ve invited a few esteemed colleagues to reveal their journey of leadership confidence with you, and today I have the privilege of introducing you to the story of Randy Ford, of Catalina Automotive , who has gone from holding management positions in the field of engineering, with an MBA, into living his passion for cars.  He has recreated his life into being a successful entrepreneur, utilizing this love of cars, in an amazingly short period of time.  Below is Randy’s story.

“We put a hummingbird feeder outside our living room window. It sits there silently every day and most of the time without apparent purpose. Then a ‘hummer shows up and it’s almost impossible not to smile. It’s a perfect yet fleeting match of needs and resources. And just as quickly the moment is gone. The feeder was the important first step. A green-winged hummingbird depends on it and that gave us the confidence to put out a second. Now several tiny families are being cared for and we are aware of the continuing responsibility to keep them filled.

Starting a business requires the same kind of willingness to hang out our own special type of hummingbird feeder while knowing there are no guarantees. Our passion drives us to assemble the team and the resources and the first customer shows up. Then the next…and the next. That’s when our confidence is boosted and we smile inside. Starting a retail auto repair business from scratch, after years away from the industry was my hummingbird feeder. My passion was the belief that trying to exceed customer expectations through honesty, fair prices, and quality work would set us apart. Commitment and passion are the foundation and confidence comes when customers and employees respond positively to the passion they see in you.

Our operation has grown steadily to over $1 million in sales and yet uncertainty still lurks at every one of the decisions each day requires. We are tweaking constantly to stay focused on what the customers need. A few bad decisions helped me painfully discover the importance of a small support group. They help me maintain perspective and help me keep thinking strategically about how to build the company. The strategy helps determine what tactical steps are needed to support the strategy. That way I’ll have a better idea of when to put out the next feeder.”

As you read Randy’s story, how can you see that it applies to you?  What were the stages of his confidence development?  What is it you see from his story that you are lacking in your circumstances?  I want to challenge you to implement some of these time tested strategies as you continue to embark on your own story!  Happy leading!

The Key to Leadership Skill Development pt. #2 and

ACQUIRE THE FIRE WEDNESDAYS! Each Wednesday I’ll review a book or blog

Last post I hopefully inspired you to begin reading more. So, where do you begin? I’ve provided a short list of all the books I have each executive with whom I coach read, or listen to. Some of my clients get so hooked on what they read, they have even gone out and purchased all of some of the author’s books. For your convenience, I have listed these books on the side of this page with an easily accessible link to Amazon to purchase them. Now, I do run into some that say, “I don’t read books”, and I would challenge you, I would like to see 5 concrete reasons as to why you don’t read books! If you’re one of them, here’s a challenge for you. Acquire one of these books I’ve listed, put on the timer for 15 minutes each day. Do this for two weeks, and then tell me if you do, or don’t see the value in this investment. Ask yourself these questions when you’re done:

• Did I learn something new?
• Will what I learned help me as a new leader, leader, or manager?
• Can I incorporate a skill in my daily activity?
• Did it build my confidence in any area?
• Will it help me influence others in a positive way?
• Did I feel encouraged?

If even two of these were the takeaways, wouldn’t it be worth it to give it a try? Let me know how it goes, I’d love to hear from you.

ACQUIRE THE FIRE BOOK REVIEW: “Developing the Leader Within You” by Dr. John C. Maxwell is the very first book I have every leader, executive, or manager I work with read! If you want to know:

• Why people don’t seem to respect or follow you and how to change that
• What breaks the trust of people you’re leading
• How to focus on priorities
• How to problem solve as a leader

and so much more, this is a MUST read book. Dr. John C. Maxwell is an amazing orator and author. You’ll walk away learning the five stages of leadership, and what is necessary at each stage of the game, so you can continually be moving forward. I give this book five stars, out of five for being excellent. Buy the book today. Just go to the panel on the right and you can get it at Amazon. There’s a workbook that goes with it as well. Check out his website too, it has many more opportunities for your involvement: http://www.johnmaxwell.com/

4 Tips to Develop into a Confident Leader - Getting out of the Spiral of Insecurity and Become a Secure Leader

As I mentioned in my last post, over the years I have observed that insecure leaders/managers sabotage themselves, and their company or organization from growing, thriving and maturing, even to the point of folding.  So if you took the little quiz in my last post, and found you came up more insecure than confident, don’t be discouraged, there’s hope.  I believe anyone can be a great, yes a great leader with effort.  Now I don’t equate big with great.  Some people have skills that better suit a smaller organization than large, you have to find what your level and season for leading is.  Someone who is a great leader of a small group, very well could bomb out with a group of 200.  Or a leader of 200, thrown into an organization of 2,000 may be in quick sand from the get-go.  So here are four of the main tips I begin to use when coaching executives, and I’ve worked with small Mom and Pop organizations to coaching the top 5 executives of a billion dollar organization for three years, and the steps are the same:

1. Be teachable and willing!  I won’t work with anyone who isn’t, and have fired people who just go through the motions.  I, therefore, have the best clients in the world, because they want to grow, and are willing to hear the hard stuff.  If you can’t be honest about yourself and who you are, and are delusional about your abilities, you’ll end up blame shifting, and then wonder why everything collapsed.  I see it over and over again.
2. Get a mentor, or find/create a mastermind - one that sets up ground rules for operation and accountability, to hold you to do and be who you know you can become.  But, my best suggestion is, hire a coach.  Why?  Because when you pay, you tend to take everything more seriously, and a coach won’t allow you to stay delusional. They will, if they are a good coach, confront the hard things that are tripping you, where others may be too polite to be honest with you.  That’s what coach is about, assisting you to be your best.  Why do you think athletes, who are the most disciplined people in the world, at the very top of their game and going to the Olympics, have a coach?  It’s because they know they have blind spots, and need someone to inspire, encourage and even push them when necessary.
3. Take assessments of yourself and have others do assessments of you.  This is getting down and dirty, and will be the hardest, best thing you can do for your work life, as well as for all your interpersonal relationship.  Assessments, such as leadership, skill, behavioral style (I recommend DISC personally), and a 360 degree assessments for start.  I heard recently, listening to some EI (Emotional Intelligence) CD’s in the car, that high level executives are hired for their business finesse, knowledge and experience, but fired for their lack of Emotional Intelligence - the ability to work with, and relate to people.  Assessments will show you where your strengths and weaknesses lie, if you know your true self and even if you are honest with yourself.  That’s why a 360 degree review on yourself, taken by those from whom you work and live with cause you, put a demand on you looking in the mirror at those things which will sabotage you, that is, if you continue on the same track you’re on.  Once you have this information, your mentor, mastermind, or coach can assist you in setting up an action plan for personal growth.
4. Lastly, for now, Read, read, read, or at least listen to CD’s while you drive.  I’ll be putting up a list of my favorite books and resources for leaders under the resources tab in the near future.  Read everything on leadership, team-building, and people skills.  Start with people skills first!  Look up Dr. John C Maxwell for a really great start to your library!  I make at least four of his books required reading for all of my clients.

Knowledge will lead to understanding.  Take this new knowledge and understanding, and apply it to all your circumstances, and you will begin to gain a greater level of confidence.  When you’re confident, you know what to do with people, and then leading them will make sense and you’ll be more at ease!  I didn’t say easier, they are people, I said you will be more at ease.  We can’t work magic, it’s still a little like herding cats!  And lastly, read autobiographies of great leaders.  Watch and you will see that they, like you, were insecure at one time or another, and had to learn and make mistakes, as we all do, to gain the skills necessary to direct, redirect, confront, delegate and even let go and move on.

Do these four things on a regular basis, and I guarantee you will gain confidence, and that confidence will translate into wisdom that gives you direction to take your business or organization where it needs to go.  These are just a few, but a few major confidence building steps for now, we’ll be going over more in future postings.

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