The most successful people know themselves, how they act and react, and understand the actions and reactions of others ! And you can learn them too!
Sign-up to the right to join this complimentary telecall for the next 6 weeks and receive the 40 pg. manual.
WHEN: Wednesdays at
TIME: 1:00pm MST 3:00pm EST
Join the “Holiday Schmooze a‘Palooza” and enjoy a few interesting stories Sue’s collected over the decades of working with, and training in Personality Styles. You’ll learn the secret to finding success with and through people. Please write me with any and all questions that will help you understand people, any and all people! (not including mental-health issues)
This Holiday would you like the secret to being around your relatives without letting them drive you crazy?
Did you know the first step to success is knowing yourself and others, how you would act and react.
Are you tired of being everything to everyone, and instead want to be YOU, discovering the REAL, AUTHENTIC YOU, then this palooza is for you.
Uncover YOUR strengths and skill-sets that will GIVE YOU THE CONFIDENCE to go for your dreams in 2013.
Learn to magnetically, naturally draw the right people to you in your business as clients.
Find the perfect collaborative partners with whom you enjoy working.
Receive the KEY to building the most AMAZING TEAM around you, one where you can accomplish more in this next year than you ever thought possible.
Or if you have a team, learn which ones are out of place, and how to reposition them for their success and yours, exponentially! (Nothing can hold you back more than having the right people, but in the wrong seats.)
This is the same information Sue has personally used to develop teams in two different billion dollar companies to coach the executives and staff through conflict resolution, team building, and to find the right new hires for new positions.
You will learn an easy to detect system to determine which of the Four Basic Personality Styles a person displays. This information is like having a crystal ball that reveals their strengths and weaknesses or limitations. It’s astonishing how accurate and fun this Personality Style System is, not to mention practical, and vitally useful to one’s business and life!
You will be gifted with a one year subscription to “Tips For Accidental Leaders” worth $97.
Strategically Create the Life and Work Worthy of your Talents, Giftings, Education and Experience
Take A Behavioral Style Profile to learn your strengths and weaknesses. Contact me for more information.
Take a Strengths Finder to compliment the Personality Profile
Interview your parents, assuming you have a good relationship with them, and ask them what they saw in you as a child, i.e., the strengths they perceived in you that would translate into a career, or other direction for your life
Ask 5 friends what they see you’re good at and one thing they see you might work on for greater success
Deal with any and all childhood issues that could be showing up as blind-spots, limitations or weaknesses. This is KEY to your progress. Ask me for more information if this intrigues you, as I have a workshop that could get you started, and would gladly tell you about my experience with it
Learn to use the 24 hr. Rule, to get over a crisis, disappointment, or a “win”, and keep yourself moving forward. (I’ve written on this in past posts, and will write on it again this week.)
Begin a “Gratefulness Journal” and write every day of at least 5 things you are most grateful/thankful for.
Take a class on “Time Management”, creating systems for every area of your life and work
Create your own personal “Mission Statement” and choose 5 to 8 values by which to base, and use as a plumb-line, all the major decisions you make life
Once a year go on a week or month long “Negativity Fast” where you allow family and friends to fine you if you say anything negative about yourself, others, or circumstances. You’ll be amazed at how cleansing this is! Take it up a notch and add not listening to any negativity as well!
Determine from now on to make decisions based on living out your values and Mission Statement.
Find a mentor. Look for 2 people you admire in different aspects of their life, and then ask them if they would consider mentoring you.
Create some form of self imposed accountability for yourself.
Learn to be a better communicator, especially in the area of listening. Most leaders get into trouble more by not listening than by talking.
Stay tune for the rest of the list of 20things, and how to get some help accomplishing these in the next post!
Did someone wave a wand and say: “POOF”, thou art a manager –NOW LEAD!
Are you, or someone you know, in the wrong role/position in your company? Did someone wave a wand and say: “POOF”, thou art a manager –NOW LEAD! But you have NO CLUE WHAT THAT MEANS or what you’re to do differently? There could be all kinds of reasons you’re out of position:
Your personality doesn’t align with the requirements of the role – i.e. say the position needs someone who is commanding, one who is able to change easily and move quickly. However, you’re a process person and like large amounts of details to then check, double check, and even triple check before you make a move. If so, then you’ll be frustrated in this role, along with making everyone around you frustrated.
Talents – say you’re very gifted with high amounts of creativity, but you don’t have an outlet to use it . . .
Your education didn’t support this role, and you’ve been struggling to try to make it work, but no matter how hard you try, you feel like you’re always behind.
The experiences you’ve had didn’t prepare you for this role, and your interests don’t align either
This doesn’t mean you’re bad or wrong, it just means that this role/position is not a natural fit for you. You can still stretch yourself and take on the role. However, be aware that it will take considerably more effort, energy, and possible skill sets you don’t now have to fulfill. Not to mention you may not enjoy it. Another way you’ll know you’re not in the best role for you when required to be THE leader, is if:
Setting the big-picture vision isn’t natural for you, and instead is difficult!
Directing people – such as: Providing them with the instructions as to what to do, which may be impossible for you to do – due to your personality style. For some personality styles, and I know it’s hard for some of us to fathom, this would mean confrontation to them.
Correcting and leading people is difficult and/or frustrating for you, so you’ll avoid it like the plague!
If these sentences resonate with you, then you’ve got another clue that you are an “Accidental Leader”. If so, then one solution for you is to acquire a Business Coach to assist you to discern why you may be discontent, ineffective, and possibly even miserable in the position you’re currently in. If you do, then you’ll receive the assistance to be successful!
On a positive note, I’ve had the most amazing opportunity to pursue what I’ve loved, and what fits me, for the past 35 years. Because of my supportive husband, I was given the gift of creating and designing a career that I thrive in, am passionate about, and which gives me the ability to continually grow with and into. My life mission emerged from one class here and an experience there. As a result, along with my personality, certifications, and education over the years, it has slowly emerged, until one day I realized I was The epitome of an “Accidental Leader”. I didn’t begin with the end in mind, as Covey recommends. I didn’t set out to be a “Business Coach”, that didn’t exist when I went to college. And I didn’t set out to pursue being a leader or trainer, however I was strategic about each small thing I pursued, until it cumulatively transpired into this awesome role called a Business Coach, Executive Coach and Corporate Trainer. Like a puzzle that emerges from the similar colors, shapes, and connectivity of its’ pieces, I now help others to be strategically excellent, by making sure their life and work aren’t built upon accidents, but on the best of what they bring to this world, aligning themselves with the people they’re suppose to connect with and serve.
You as a leader/ manager are so busy these days that complete clear communication sometimes never happens. Do you know if you’re really hearing what people are really saying? Is there a way to be sure that you are? Yes, there is, and it’s amazingly simple I can’t even believe it. I was recently given a book on conflict resolution that make it such a huge deal. What I’ve discovered is that 80% of the conflicts tend to be: one person didn’t say what the meant or didn’t use the right words to convey it, so the other person heard the words, but not the intent. Or, the other person misunderstood completely what the other person was truly communicating and immediately jumped to assumptions and judgment based on what they heard, not what the person meant. When I can get people together to work through and learn this process, it’s amazing how much clears up. Don’t believe me, get on this complimentary call yourself and you be the judge!
During this tele-class you’ll examine, how to increase your leadership influence. You will gain practical tips on how to disagree with people without them ever knowing it, keeping them on your team. You’ll learn how to provide appropriate feedback, while discovering the one thing you should never do when you have to correct an employee.
DATE: August 25th
TIME: 12:00pm until 1:00pm MST
WHERE: Teleclass – on the phone (you will receive the # before the seminar)
GIVEN BY: Sue Porter – “The Accidental Leader”
COST: complimentary introductory rate – you must sign-up to receive the conference call number and materials
If you are a new or emerging leader, and could receive the wisdom and training of the preeminent executive coach in the nation, and the cost was under $30, would you not take him up on it? You’d be a fool to decline wouldn’t you? Not only that, he would also provide, for your further development, a full library of resources to implement his time tested methods for team-building, communication, leadership, and coaching! So, how do you take advantage of this? By reading his book, “What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There“. A number one best seller from Amazon before it had even been released to the public. In it you will find what keeps us as leaders in delusion, as well as why we resist change. He expounds upon the guilty habits we indulge ourselves in, adding an emotional trigger, backing up his premise with real life examples – making us feel we can relate, and therefore find hope in the ability to live and learn, ultimately changing. He also clarifies our strengths, and shows us how to overcome our weaknesses and failures. This book is certainly NOT meant for light reading. The key to this book is a willingness on your part to ask yourself and those around you the tough questions about yourself, your leadership style, and the practices you use. It’s an opportunity to take a good long look in the mirror. Besides, it’s high time we discover and acknowledge what everyone else already knows about us. Goldsmith is able to, in practical terms, lead us to the closet of our lives, in our leadership role, and help us admit what’s within, while simultaneously building our belief that we can become the leader we know we can be. In my estimation, this book receives 5 stars out of 5. (5 being the best.)
By the way, the number one skill, according to “The Accidental Leader”, one I am still working on, is to GET REAL with yourself, take stalk, get honest, while looking for true, not fluffy, feedback from those around you that know you best. No growth can occur until you are first honest and transparent with yourself. This is a big part in paying the price for great leadership. Believe me, you’ll find these things out about your leadership one way or the other,through a kind messenger, like a book or coach, or through a harsh one, like your main staff quitting simultaneously. I’ve done both! Learned the easy and the difficult way. It’s really our choice which way it comes. But, it will come, I guarantee it.
Get your copy today. Just scroll over to the Amazon book site I have provided for you here on this blog, and order it today.
BEING INSECURE WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR INFLUENCE
One of the greatest hindrances to leadership, as well as detriments to an organization, is an insecure person in a leadership role. Insecurity can come from a deep seated lack of confidence. It can come from being placed in positions of authority and influence before the appropriate training and experience are acquired. These are people that have not earned or gained, through trust and integrity, the influence of the people they are leading. They don’t have the wisdom to direct or correct, much less be able to change a course of direction as needed. You can tell a leader who is insecure by the way they are always trying to prove they are worthy of the position they hold, or the directive they have given. They may remind people of who they are, as if the position gives them certain inalienable rights. Secure leaders never have to do this, they just “are” and others willingly follow and are engaged. When insecure, they may lead by rules, reminding subordinates of their position. The unspoken culture also has rules and the employees people know the boundaries, and that it would be insurrection if they crossed them. Their desire is to gain unquestioning dedication. In fact, they view questions as insubordination and they run an organization by “Because I said so”. Their M.O. is to get rid of anyone that may question them, creating what is called “group think” where people know that the only acceptable reaction is to go along with what is proposed. Another clue to insecurity is when they abdicate responsibility when things go wrong, blaming others or the system instead of looking at the quality of their leadership. Insecurity is expressed in the way they communicate. For some it is revealed by how they need those around them to have a sense of importance. When I hear a leader of volunteers thank people for coming to a meeting, exclaiming how much they appreciate their support, I know their identity is wrapped up in the accolades of the people. This is an organization I know will some day be in trouble. For others, insecurity comes out in manipulation, either under the table, or outwardly through intimidation. People that know they’re not allowed to bring up anything that would be construed as being “negative” are dealing with an insecure leader. And when one of these leaders feels their influence with the people slipping through their fingers, they may overcompensate with pride, or by forcing people to “get-in-line” with their decisions.
I’m sure, at this point, you’ve had numerous people come to mind. You may be asking yourself “how is Sue so able to describe this”? Well, I should know, because as a young woman at the age of 23, and in a leadership role, at one time or another, most of this was a description of me. And for that matter, some of it may still be. We are all in process. Thankfully we can all, if we’re teachable and willing, grow, change, develop and gain the necessary attitudes, skills, and posture to be secure leaders that think more of those they are leading, and serve the mission of the organization, rather than expecting others and the organization to serve our sense of significance. In the next post, we’ll go over ways to become what many call a level 5 leader, one who is secure, with the right motives for their role.
You know you’re insecure if:
- You’re a know it all
- You have all the answers
- You can’t listen to anything negative
- You can’t receive help
- You don’t know what to do but proceed anyway expecting everyone to follow blindly
- You’re jealous of others that do better on a project than you, or receive the accolades and you don’t
- You don’t get input before you make decisions
- You can’t handle others under you being successful
- You can’t delegate
- You have to control everything
- You see yourself and your position as being the most important in the company
- You see yourself as indispensable
- You can’t receive correction and take everything as a conspiracy against you
- You’re consumed with conspiracy theories
- You see yourself and your leadership position as the same thing. In other words you derive your value from what you do.
Leaders may be filling their need for improper significance through:
- Holding a prestigious position (Are you there for the people or the cause, or how it makes you feel?)
- Having people look to them for answers (Creating co-dependency in the ranks)
- Controlling all the operations, having to know everything going on
- Taking all the credit for themselves
- Being the one everyone has to come to for permission (Do you need people to need you?)
- Needing to have large crowds of people come to listen to them (It’s never big enough to satisfy your needs)
For more information on how to develop as a new leader, or develop into a great leader, check out the ongoing workshops and seminars under the page, “Events”.
LEADERSHIP LESSONS DERIVED FROM SACRIFICE
While only three hours from reaching the summit, Mazur and two teammates stumbled upon a man precariously sitting on a precipice. Without his backpack, oxygen, tent, or mental capabilities, how had he survived all night? A decision had to be made. Do they continue on their journey and reach a lifetime goal, or stay with the man called Lincoln Hall, who had been left for dead the day before when suffering with a severe form of altitude sickness. He had miraculously survived the night, but was unable go the trek down to base camp if he tried. For you and I, it may have been an obvious call, but for these three men, you have to remember the cost they’d paid. They had spent months of grueling training, and $20,000 each in the focused pursuit of their dream. How could they not reach the summit of Mt. Everest? They were faced with conflicting priorities. Why couldn’t they be like the men that had just passed by with the excuse, they didn’t know English while they continued climbing up the mountain. Later, at base camp they heard them speaking it fluently. Amazing what high altitudes can do for you.
But with a unified vote, they stayed with him. What are the leadership lessons you can take from this? The most important is that leaders will, at one time or another, encounter conflicting priorities that causes them to fall back on their values and ethics to make wise decisions. Unfortunately, it is all too common to find the leadership of a company stepping over and on employees as well as colleagues while reaching their goal. Without meaning to, they sacrifice the hopes and dreams of others while gaining theirs. Let me give you an example. My husband had the wisdom to want to train emerging leaders for the new project they were on. Inviting the owner to join him, he was excited, and ready for the collaboration. But when it came down to it, he was given the responsibility of setting up of the room and making the coffee, even though it was his idea and vision. Something died in him during that season of work. And, as is typical, this leader had no idea what he had done. It is hard to comprehend the kind of leadership that takes everyone with them on the journey, but by including others, you will find yourself not only more satisfied, but the fulfillment you will experience is nothing less than exhilarating. So, let me ask you, when you’re leading a project as a new leader or new manager, do you:
1. Find out why others join you?
2. Learn what they want to get out their involvement in the project?
3. Utilize their best skills, talent and gifts?
4. Communicate often, asking them how they’re doing on the project?
5. Give them an opportunity, often, to examine the progress/egress and why?
6. Delegate to their qualifications and then support them without taking over?
Next time you’re on a conquest to reach a goal, bring your team with you, it’s much more gratifying than if you do it all yourself. But, be sure to share the acclaim, or you risk loosing them to your competitor that will let them take the spotlight and be successful.
Why is this blog called “Confessions of an Accidental Leader”? It’s because I myself never set out to “BE” a leader, or to be “LEADING” leaders. It was a natural progression of my interests, passion, and personality 30 years ago. It began when a friend shared that if you read 7 books on any one given subject, that you would be considered an expert in that field. While recuperating from surgery, I attempted just such a feat by consuming anything I could get my hands on regarding the behavioral styles method called DISC. From there, for fun and personal enjoyment I began sharing the information informally with groups. People found it instantaneously fascinating, and particularly helpful, so I was soon asked by friends and their husbands to conduct workshop for their office staff and employees. What started as a hobby, launched me into the arena of entrepreneurship, consulting, coaching, training on team-building, conflict resolution, communication and ultimately leading. I’ve since become certified in a myriad of applicable competencies see: www.dpdwebsite for more information on my journey.