Leadership pt. 3 What Not to Do That I Did

Do You Have This Fatal Flaw of Leadership

One fatal flaw in leaders that will sabotage their leadership influence and kill their efforts, ultimately causing their organization to implode, is being an “INSECURE LEADER”. Unfortunately, I can again speak with great authority and experience on this subject. Although I have always exuded a confident boldness, which gives the illusion of “being secure”, without training or experience I fell into all of the typical actions and responses insecure leaders exude. Worst of all, because of my insecurity, I “needed” people to prop me up with compliments, approval, and value; along with people showing up for attendance at my meetings to support my efforts. (Now this was over 25 years ago.)  Before I knew it, I was co-dependent on the very ones I was to serve, equip, motivate, support and lead. Ok, ok, so I was only a volunteer over Women’s Ministries, Director of Camps, Supervisor of Sunday School, Director of VBS, Mission Trips Leadership and ran a Summer Master’s Commission program, they were still leadership roles, and the beginning of my love/hate relationship with leadership! In fact, I could write a book about this topic alone, the INSECURITY of LEADERS. For your sake though, I’ll give you the signs and symptoms of an insecure leader, all of which determine the stage of leadership one is on, this one being the “Title Stage”. More than that, I would love to tell you just what I’ve done that has given me freedom from this deadly flaw. If you’d like to know more, please contact me for more information. It’s my absolute favorite topic, training, and a pre-requisite for completing my Executive Coach Training Course. But let me explain more about the “Title Stage”

Title Stage

(This person has no real influence or skill, just a leadership position) They may be a new leader or manager, or one who has had little or no training or understanding regarding the mission and scope of leadership.

At this stage of development they have been appointed and given a title. The titled leader often uses a military, autocratic style of leadership that worked for the traditional generation, and during a war. And yet, if this is the only basis for someone’s authority and influence then they:

• Tend to be dictatorial, autocratic, demanding and controlling in their style

• Most of their actions and reactions are due to being insecure.

• When problems arise they are quick to blame shift without finding out all the facts, for fear that blame for the problem may be placed on them.

• Will make assumptions, again without the facts.

• Are defensive.

• Can’t take responsibility and have difficulty apologizing.

• Get their identity and security from the “title” and being “in charge”.

• Tend to lead by rules, protocol, flow charts and tradition.

• May have been appointed to a position regardless of their skills, talents or leadership influence.

• Expect people to “just do it” because, well “I said so”.

• Will have low moral throughout the organization.

• Will discover that people won’t engage and participate beyond their stated job description. They aren’t motivated by their work, and will only do the bare minimum.

• Use intimidation, threats and manipulation to direct people.

• Want everything to revolve around them, and what they want and need.

• Have people that feel disrespected, unimportant and frustrated.

• Have people who are not empowered to take charge themselves, and receive no rewards for any extra initiative. Instead they may intimidate the one trying to lead.

• Don’t allow their people to question anything, or ask the deeper questions to discover the real problems, issues, or hindrances of the organization.

• Believe that if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. This results in unmotivated people who are discouraged.

• Micromanage due to their lack of trust.

“We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.“  Max DePree

YOUR COACHING ASSIGNMENT:

Take this list above and put a 1, 2, or 3 next to the sentences, 1 meaning least like and 3 meaning most like, and evaluate where you are today.  Want to really “GET REAL“, make copies of it, and have those closest to you rate the sentences about you!  Then be alert to the next posting, I’ll talk about what you need to do to go to the next level OF “LEADERSHIP INFLUENCE”.

STILL WANT TRANSFORMATION: Contact me to learn about my fall coaching programs AccidentalLeader@comast.net to acquire the accountability to become the person you know you can be!

The Secret To Knowing What Authentic Leadership Is?

In the Oct. 2006 issue of  U.S. News and World Report , they did a report titled, “Truly Authentic Leadership“. In the report they stated that one of the biggest problem wasn’t the lack of leadership, but the understanding of the notion of what exactly a leader is, thus resulting in the wrong people attaining critical leadership roles. They went on to explain that because of this, search committees and voters alike fell into the trap of choosing leaders for their:

STYLE rather than their

SUBSTANCE.

For their IMAGE instead of their

INTEGRITY.

They went on to proclaim that the only valid test of a leader is his or her ability to bring people together to achieve sustainable results over time; that leadership takes DEVELOPMENT and HARD WORK. I wholeheartedly agree!

Your Coaching Reflection and Action Step: So my question to you today is:  What are you doing that is developing your leadership skills? What books are you reading; what seminars are you going to; who is mentoring you? Along with that, what coach have you hired to hold you accountable to do what you need to do, to become the leader you know you can be? Don’t wait, do it today. You’ll be glad you did.

Stay tuned, in the next few posts I’ll be announcing some exciting opportunities for you to do just this, take advantage of a powerful new coaching program!

He Was a Burned Out Business Owner - Are You?

Yesterday John said “Our working together these past 3 months has saved my business, and my career. He’d owned this company 27yrs, and done very well financially, although I soon discovered he’d never been given the business tools from his corporate office to run a successful franchise. On top of that, he didn’t realize it, but he was burned out. He had:

• No business systems in place to run his business on
• Employee turn-over taking place every few years
• Poor office morale

and

• He had never learned how to lead a team of people effectively

If you had asked him 5 months ago if he needed help, he probably would have said emphatically, “NO”. He had no idea how it could be, so what he was experiencing day to day was normal for him.

Does this sound like anyone you know? If you do, let them know I am offering a free one hour phone coaching session, without any obligation to ever utilize my services in the future. Sign-up at this link: https://my.timedriver.com/RFL62

Now, why would I do this? Well, first of all I was honored and inspired by the progress of this client , and two, it’s worth it to me because:

1. They’ll have tasted the benefits of being coached, and can now refer me with a personal working knowledge.
2. I truly believe that when I give, it will come back to me - maybe not from the same source, but it comes back all the same, pressed down, shaken together, and running over!

. . .To know even one life has breathed easier

because you lived.

This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

What’s Under the Covers of Your Business pt. II

Find out what your staff, spouse, and closest friends are seeing about your business that is, and is not working. Trust me, they’ll know more about running a business than you can ever imagine. Now there are a couple of ways of going under the covers to discover what’s there. You can do one-on-one interviews. This is what I conduct in larger organizations, and works well when you have the funds to bring someone in. In mid. to small businesses, surveys work . Call it: “What This Business Needs” Analysis. Now, if they know you can detect whose writing is whose, here’s a suggestion: Give them a completion date to turn it in by. Then, provide a self addressed, stamped envelope to be mailed to a person who will type up the answers. If your company is large enough, have them turn the completed analysis in to your administrative assistant. Again remember:

• Don’t take it personally!

• Don’t make excuses to yourself or others as to why things are the way they are.

• No blame-shifting, take full responsibility for the results.  You’re the leader.

• Don’t let it defeat you, it is what it is. After you’ve taken stock, it’s may be time to rebuild/re-launch a new standard of operating, according to what you’ve found.

Here are some questions you can use for your questionnaire:

1. What do you see isn’t working around here?

2.  If you could change anything, what would it be?

3. Why aren’t we growing?

4. Why don’t we have more clients/customers, or sales?

5. What can we change, or do, to make your job easier for you to give your best?

6. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most and 1 the least:

a. How happy are you in your position?

b. I have received adequate training to be successful

c. I have been provided all the equipment and supplies to do my job well.

d.Toxic conversation is discouraged in my area

e. I have respect for my direct manager?

f. I understand the Mission, Vision, and Values of my company

g. We as employees strive to live by our Mission, Vision, and Values?

h. I feel my work is appreciated

i. I have incentives to continue to do a better job?

j. I am provided continuing education to enhance my work and skill-set

k.The culture of the office is healthy

Remember, this is just a start. If you’d like more information on when this product is launched, let me know. I’m sure I’ll be running some great specials to test it, as well as to promote it. Here’s to your business success not being by ACCIDENT!

MONDAY MORSELS for Leaders-What Made 3% of the Yale Graduating Class of 1953 Worth More Than the Remaining 97% Put Together?

With one perfectly honed skill, the skill of goal setting, the 3% become extremely wealthy. Below is the case study from 1953 that magnifies the imperativeness of effectively incorporating three steps in the goal setting process to be successful:

In 1953, Yale University did a study on goal setting. They went to their graduating class and asked them three questions:

1. “Have you set clear, specific goals?”;
2. “Have you written them down?” And;
3. “Have you created an action plan to accomplish them?”

They learned that only 3% had done all three steps. Then, they went back to this same class 20 years later and interviewed the surviving members. They learned that the 3% who had set clear and specific goals, had written them down, and then created an action plan to accomplish them, were worth more than the remaining 97% put together who hadn’t. Need I say more?

Today’s Leadership Action Plan: Set three goals today around developing your leadership. Create one long range goal, one short range goal, and one goal that you can meet within 6 months. Remember that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, or 21 days to undo one. Follow the steps listed above, adding one last element to ensure your commitment to leadership development. Tell someone what will motivate you either positively or negatively, and then stick to it. For instance, I had one client that wouldn’t buy a new pair of shoes until she went one full week utilizing a new skill, thus reaching her goal-positive motivation. Another client had to pay me $200 extra, if, for one week, he didn’t fulfill his goal-negative motivation. Whatever motivates you, hold yourself to it by placing yourself in accountability. Make a demand on yourself by making it a big enough deal that you’ll genuinely put yourself up against the wall to be accountable, thereby accomplishing your goal. And, if you take me up on this, please let me know. I’d love to follow your progress!

Now, if you already know that you’re someone that has tried to do this before, and it hasn’t worked, or that you know you just won’t do it, but you truly want to, you just need assistance. Why not try coaching? What if it works? What if it’s finally your key to setting your goals, as well as finding the motivation it will take to follow through and reach them? Is it time to place yourself into accountability? Then don’t wait. Contact me today, and you could receive one free session worth $175. Helping people fulfill their goals and achieve success is not only one of my specialties, but one of the favorite aspects of the work I do. Either way, here’s to your success!

The Indomitable Spirit of the Leader

Where do you acquire your inspiration? Do you take your challenges and frustrations and amalgamate them into laser like focus, and a clear, unstoppable vision? For me, keeping my eye on role models with the kind of extreme challenge I live with regularly, is one way. I have a heroic esteem that after contemplating on their stories, cascades into a belief that says to me regularly, if they can do it, with their issues and problems, there is nothing that I will allow to stop me! So, when I’m coaching a business owner who’s struggling with the normal issues that every business owner I know does, I say often, “This is why you’re the business owner, not your employees.” It’s not a normal person that could handle an employee that embezzles money, with a customer wrongfully suing them, a computer that crashes and one of their big clients stolen by their competitor. Oh, and did I mention, this all happened within a month’s time? This may be extreme, but you have to be an extreme person yourself to weather instances of the above scenario on a regular basis. You see, the definition of business owner/leader is “One who has continuous challenges in the workplace that evoke a symphony of emotions”. How you deal with it all is what makes the difference, and you have to learn and acquire a defying like strength that will keep you going, in spite of all the leadership challenges and circumstances. Those that make it, stick it out, and are successful, learn to have an indomitable spirit, and an unstoppable attitude. Finding heroes to emulate is only one way to stay the course. What is it that you do that keeps you in the game?

Tip of the week: Read autobiographies of great men and women, or short stories such as in the book “Unstoppable” by Cynthia Kersey. And by all means read, or listen to “Failing Forward” by Dr. John C. Maxwell. Understanding that failure is not forever, and doesn’t translate into you’re a failure, is a huge lesson we all need to learn.

MONDAY MORSELS for Leaders-Can Leadership Expertise Be Acquired?

Here’s the question: Do you believe that leadership expertise can be learned, acquired? Can people gain the influence necessary, with teaching, training or coaching, to grow an organization, if they don’t have the natural personality to do so? What’s your opinion?

I asked this because it is my passion to provide training, support, and coaching to those leaders who “fall” into the role of “leadership”, and find themselves ill equipped to handle the demands of the position. This was something my husband and I faced over 30 years ago, while leading a prosperous area in a non-profit organization. It never fails to amaze me when I watch leadership transformation take place right in front of my eyes. I’ve found THE two most important competencies for growth are: 1. A willing heart to try things, while people try to break out of their comfort zones; and, 2. A teachable spirit. Through trial and error, as well as with the support of a coach to re-engineer, train, and apply assessments for self-discovery, (while supporting and cheering the executive along,) I’ve seen change occur over and over again; even in those who had staff that pulled me aside to let me know there was absolutely nothing I would be able to accomplish with so and so. For me, this is music to my ears. Let me at them, to work with them. I’ve observed leaders who were incompetent, egocentric, insecure, lacking motivation and vision, harsh and hard hearted, as well as those who were clueless as to the needs around them, make complete transformations! I can genuinely say, wholeheartedly, and with an emphatic resounding “YES” . . leadership expertise CAN be trained and acquired by anyone who is willing and teachable! In fact, the book that revealed the necessary stages, opening a whole new world to us was, Dr. John C. Maxwell’s book, “Developing the Leader Within You“. Between this book and “Be a People Person“, by Dr. Maxwell, we began our assent into a new realm of servant leadership, learning to take our eyes off of getting people to do what “WE” wanted, and onto assisting, equipping, coaching, and motivating people to become all they could become, in the position they were in, thus fulfilling the company mission as they grew. It is now an honor to work with the many gifted, highly qualified people who have touched so many others and been willing to learn the lessons needed, and skill sets necessary, to become a servant leader. It is with this motivation that I hope those I coach will find the same great reward. It’s worth the effort to acquire and deal with a right heart motivation. And in the end, the employees will continue to make their bosses rich in every way possible!

How To Tailor Your Communication Style to Meet the Needs of Others

It was a pleasure to be the guest blogger today on Jeannette Paladino’s Blog: Write, Speak, Sell (Profiting from More Effective Communication) where she asked me to write on: “Tailor your communication style to meet the needs of others “. Remember, that to learn more on this subject, and to receive your free DISC profile valued at $50, I will be presenting at the ASTD (American Society for Training and Development) breakfast meeting on Friday January 15th at 7:30am at El Parador.

DISC has applications that will assist you in conflict resolution, leadership development, team building, as well as in sales.  This tool is one of the most phenomenal tools on the market.  One, because it is “dead on” and can feel like you’ve had your hand read.  And two, because you can take it for different environments and occasions and it will show you and reflect how different you are say, at home than you may be at work; or how you relate to one problem employee compared to the rest of the employees; how you view and handle money; or even how you are in leadership as opposed to when you’re not.  This becomes invaluable to me, as an Executive Coach, when working with individuals or the company as a whole.  So, whether you come yourself, or forward this to a colleague or business partner, I guarantee that you’ll find value in this tool!

While You’re on Jeannette’s website, look around, she has not only done a beautifully job on her website, it is also informative and helpful as well.  Jeannette was senior vice president for the venerable Bowery Savings Bank where the experience indelibly impressed on her how a culture of communication can work magic with employees and customers!  Jeannette and I took the same blogging class that will begin again on January 11th.  You may want to learn all the wonderful ways to promote yourself and what you passionately believe in through a blog.  Check out the “ Become A Blogging Maniac ” webinar just click on the link in the article: “A Great Way to Promote Your Business and Work is with a Blog.”  One of the best things about this class is that if you miss a session, it’s posted so you can go back at your convenience to go through it.

MONDAY MORSELS for Leaders-How to Utilize Your Time Wisely- The 5 D’s pt. I

Prioritizing those high register tasks, along with the mundane everyday routine tasks, appropriately, is one sure fire sign you’re an emerging leader. Without this vital skill, you’re at the mercy of a conglomerate of urgent responsibilities and annoying needs pleading for your attention.  I recently heard someone call the fun non-relevant distractions that come your way: BRIGHT SHINNY THINGS.  And, in order to avoid getting caught giving your attention to these BRIGHT SHINNY THINGS, you’ll need the ability to:

Discern It (is it a worthy, timely goal? Does it fit w/your mission, vision & values?)

Dump It (It doesn’t fit, or isn’t relevant!)

Delegate It (Someone else can do it just as well.)

Defer It (Doesn’t have to be done now.)

Do it (It’s the 20% of activities that give you the greatest return on your investment of time, do those first!)

Besides, it’s that time of year for you to create clear, powerful, strategic goals that will be the markers on your map to assist you in reaching your ultimate destination. Why? Because it’s a new year! A new beginning, January 1^st, it’s time for:

OUT WITH THE OLD (those things that didn’t work/or are obsolete)  and

IN WITH THE NEW

This entails reassessing where you are currently, check to see if the goals you previously established are, in fact, still relevant, and taking you where you intend and need to go, or if you got caught up in a BRIGHT SHINNY THING that needs to be restructured or possibly DUMPED.   So, grab a sheet of paper and pen, and let’s begin first off with all your desired “OUTCOMES” and then work backwards. Whether you like a 1 year, or a 3 year strategic plan, you have to get a hold of understanding where, and what, you want “TO BE” at the end of it all. You see, a map without a destination is just a journey to no where. Once you have your destination in full view, chunk down each and every thing to  bite size portions.

Remember to establishing your priorities in every aspect of your life: mentally, spiritually, physically, in your  professionally as well as family life. Take a look at all the hats you wear, that should help.  Yep, it’s called work/life balance, none of this all-or-nothing career, when you work with this Coach. Now, once you’ve brainstormed and “Discerned” those brilliant, clear, goals, go back and focus on the other 4 “D’s” 2. “Dump It”, 3. “Delegate It”, 4. “Defer It”, or my favorite, 5. just “Do It”.

Time saving and Money Saving Tip:

Try using a virtual assistant and you’ll soon discover, as I have, that the more you delegate or outsource, the more you’ll be able to focus on those items that only you can do. It’s keeping for yourself those tasks that bring out your most brilliant-talents. Those things you do best, and that are worth your time and financial investment. For instance, if you have figured out you’re worth $200 an hour, these better be tasks you do that will bring that financial return and more. These are things, that when you do them, people around you say, “You make that look so easy!” When you doing them, you shine and feel fulfilled. Pt. II next time

5 Costly Perils Business Owners Can Avoid pt. 1 (Just say “No)

The symptom:

1. I’m the owner, I can do it all myself, or pay my current employees to do it. This is, by far, the most prevalent and deceptive peril I see in operation in businesses. It appears to make sense when you’re the leader/manager, that is, if you don’t uncover all the facts. If you, or your employee, have specific training to perform high level job tasks that warrant a larger pay scale than minimum wage, and you give this employee a time-intensive, mundane task to perform, it’s illogical!  You see, if any high school student could do it, and it doesn’t take specialized training, you’re wasting perfectly good resources - your specially trained workforce.  But by far the worst thing you could do would be to do it yourself! If you do, you’re throwing good money, not to mention time, down the drain. “But, I’m saving money because I’m not adding more people to the payroll”, you say. Nothing could be more misleading! If you or your qualified employee could be spending time generating more work, bring in clientele, or working on cost saving processes that would save the company money, while a temp is doing the boring, mundane task, well, you figure it out. It only makes good business sense, as well as solid time management to delegate the task. Here’s the formula: Be sure you’re doing tasks that mirror your pay scale. Take some time to calculate your hourly worth, as well as know your employees’ hourly rate. If, according to the income, you or they are worth $200, or even $35 an hour, then don’t spend hours doing a job you could pay someone else $8 per hour. Make sense?

The solution:

In light of the surplus of people out of work, it is just intelligent to hire either a virtual assistant, a temp, or a minimum wage earner to do these tasks. Why not try to stay within the confines of your “brilliant self”? This connotes doing only those things that make you shine, and bring compound exponential value to your business. See for yourself how much more effective and fulfilled you and your staff will be. It’s why you’ve gained your specific training in the first place!

A perfect example of this “Just Say No!” skill is that of Mick Jagger and his three comrades from “The Rolling Stones”. Mick does two things, and two things exceptionally well: 1. He performs; and, 2. He records. He’s done it for more than 40 years, and is still going strong! (If it’s not obvious, they haven’t burned out. . . which is a common occurrence among business owners who try to DO ALL and BE ALL.) Wouldn’t it be silly to see Mick and the band among the 200 or so people that it takes to set up their two to three-story set? Or have them calling around to obtain bookings for their performances? Better yet, would you think it a good idea for Mick to learn to fly a plane, just so they wouldn’t have to pay one of the two or more pilots on their payroll?  If it makes sense for them, it makes sense for you. Obviously on a much smaller scale, but the same principle all the same. So my motto for my clients for the new year is: “JUST SAY NO!”, and watch your money flow while your business grows!

Is it too ingrained in you to change?  Is setting leadership priorities and sticking with them difficult for you? Then it might be time to hire an Executive Coach. Check out the offer through January, and set yourself up for your best year ever!  Do it today. You won’t regret it, you have my word, and a money back guarantee!

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